In His Word. In My Life

Standing

2011-05-31T18:04:00.001-04:00

So my son is trying to stand already. If you hold his hands he pulls himself up and I caught him trying to pull himself out of the bassinet. He isn't quite four months old yet. He is swimming instead of crawling but he seems to have standing with help down pat.

Would Jesus Be Accepted in Your Church?

2011-04-01T11:31:00.002-04:00

Ryan and I were riding in the car the other day with the Ipod on shuffle and the song "My Jesus" by Todd Agnew came on. If you have ever listened to the lyrics, you may have been turned off by one word in the song. But take a minute with me to read through the lyrics that caught our attention.

"Cause my Jesus bled and died

He spent His time with thieves and liars

He loved the poor and accosted the arrogant

So which one do you want to be?

Cause my Jesus would never be accepted in my church

The blood and dirt on His feet might stain the carpet

But He reaches for the hurting and despises the proud

I think He'd prefer Beale St. to the stained glass crowd

And I know that He can hear me if I cry out loud

I want to be like my Jesus! "

Ryan and I felt God calling us back to the Upstate. We left with no house, no job for me, and no real clue where God was leading us. Real blind faith. We later found God leading us to Epic Church and a group of people who truly encompass what Ryan and I talked about following the song that day in the car. But that is another story for another day.

After carefully listening to the song, Ryan and I talked about visiting some churches when we came to Greenville. We talked about how receptive and loving some churches are and no matter what you look like and wear they just love on you. Ryan and I talked about a "test" we wanted to do one day. We wanted Ryan to find his spikes, Slipknot tshirt (that mind you has holes all in it), black pants with chains on it, and dog collar and "dress the part". We wanted to experiment to see how a church would approach my husband in this getup. Would people walk up to him and invite him back and tell him about other events and bible studies going on in the church? Would they stare at him? Judge him?

They don't know his heart. They don't know he is the most godly man I have ever met. But many churches probably wouldn't invite us to anything else their church has going on. We said the church that did was the type of church we wanted to be involved in.

How many of us, including myself, would have huge eyes watching such a sight coming down the isle of our church? How many of us truly are like Jesus. Look at who Jesus ministered to. The adulterous woman at the well. A tax collector who cheated people out of money. Sick woman who had been bleeding for 12 years.

I want to follow Christ and imitate Him. I want to show God's truth in love as Ephesians 4:15 states "Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ." It doesn't matter who we are, what job we have, how we dress, or what sins we have or are committing at the time. 1 Peter 4:8 states that "Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins." Everything else aside, we are called to share Jesus's love story, a love that covers all sins. We are to do this without fear and without shame. For Jesus ministered to people who needed Him. People who were sinners and outcasts from their society. Just as this drew criticism from the proud religious leaders of Jesus's day, we need not fear rejection and criticism from those in our day.

We are called to witness no matter what the social class, sins committed, education, wealth, employment, etc. So I ask again as the song did.

"Which Jesus do you follow?

Which Jesus do you serve?

If Ephesians says to imitate Christ

Then why do you look so much like the world?"

Radical Faith

2011-02-12T22:36:00.002-05:00

Mark 1: 38 - 45 NLT
"But Jesus replied, 'We must go on to other towns as well, and I will preach to them, too. That is why I came.' So he traveled throughout the region of Galilee, preaching in the synagogues and casting out demons."

Jesus says the reason that He came was to preach to all of Galilee, not just his home town or his comfort zone. Where do you openly and radically share Jesus? Is there some places that you do not open up and talk about Jesus? Is there a group of people you just do not feel will accept your sharing Jesus with them? Take some time and search your heart for places you do and do not talk about Jesus. Is there someone specific that God is laying on your heart to share Christ with? Maybe you are not open at school or work about your faith. Pray that God opens your heart and shows you areas where you can be radical and share your faith. You never know where God will open doors for future opportunities to share your faith. Be open and keep a look out for where you can share your faith.

Preparing for Baby

2011-02-04T10:30:00.002-05:00

So the past few days I have been diving in head first to car floor boards, toilets, showers, and closets. I am officially in the nesting period of my pregnancy. The great thing is I have TONS of energy in spirts. The bad thing is that my pinched nerve doesn't like my nesting phase. I actually slept from 10:30 until 8:30 this morning only waking up once.

Countdown to baby.....still waiting.

Making Plans

2011-02-02T08:44:00.002-05:00

Jeremiah 29:11 (New International Version, ©2010)
11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

My coping mechanism is planning. It is how I keep myself calm in an ever-changing world. I make contingency plans. I plan for the worse-case scenario. I have been trying to plan for my classes around having a baby. My six week class started Tuesday, February 1st, 2011 and ends March 14, 2011. The problem? I am officially due February 25th, 2011. But with having a baby, due dates are a suggestion. He can come whenever he wants. He can come early and arrive next week or he can come late and be a March baby. That makes it difficult on me when I am trying to plan around it.

I just feel like a stubborn toddler. You know the kind. Like my nephew who continues to jump off the couch onto a stack of pillows in the floor. All the while, the adults watching over him are telling him not to do it, that he will get hurt. And what do you know, he jumps too far to the left and hits a metal pole with his knees on the way down.

I feel like God is like that with me. He is watching over me, and I start thinking about jumping off the couch. My plans are made. But God has other plans. Plans that are perfect and plans to not harm me. But what do I do, I jump! Only to get hurt.

Lord, forgive me for being a stubborn toddler. Change my plans to Your plans. Not my will, but Yours be done.

Let Go, Let God

2011-01-12T13:33:00.002-05:00

I am in a bible study right now about true faith. Today's reading was in Genesis 22: 1 - 14. It's where Abraham goes to the mountain to sacrifice his only son, Isaac. When reading through the passage I realized my faith is nothing when compared to Abraham.

Yesterday's reading was 1 Samuel 1: 7-20. This passage is where Hannah goes to the temple distraught over her barrenness. She asks God to give her a son and that she would in turn dedicate him back to the Lord. And she does.

My faith is nothing like Hannah. I have since been struggling with letting go and letting God take control. There is something I have been struggling with for the past 14 weeks and I thought I had given it to God, but the fear keeps coming back and I fight to give it up again. My struggle now... Have I really given it to God if I keep having the fear come back?

At 20 weeks into my pregnancy, the doctors did a detailed ultrasound on my son. Some measurements were off and they sent me the following week to a specialist. I cried all week and that Sunday I went to the altar and let my heart out to God. I told Him I was giving the fear and anxiety I felt to Him and that I knew He was in control of the situation. I felt so relieved and like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. Then the next day the doctors did not leave me with great news.

I was told that the measurement between my son's brain and skull was borderline for Downs Syndrome. The heart defect they were concerned about "looked fine" at the time, but the last thing the doctor said as I walked out the door was that if he was born healthy the doctor wouldn't be surprised. If I came back and he was born with a birth defect, he wouldn't be surprised. All the fear and anxiety came rushing back. It took another two weeks before I won the battle and gave it back to God.

10 weeks went by without giving it another thought. Then all of a sudden with just six weeks to go in my pregnancy the fears have started creeping back in.

My main struggle has been did I really give it to God before if it keeps coming back up? It is something that has really been bothering me. Did I really trust in God and give Him control?

Sleepless nights

2011-01-08T07:46:00.001-05:00

It's become a normal thing for me to get little to no sleep. I guess my body is preparing me for the birth of my son.

I used to get annoyed, but now I spend the time reading the Bible to my son. One of my favorite verses is Prov 15:1. A kind word can bring peace to a situation but a harsh word just breeds anger. I have to remember that in all of my relationships; however, I feel particularly drawn to this when dealing with my marriage. My hormones have my emotions on overdrive but if I learn to stop and think about my reaction, I can diffuse a potentially harmful situation to my marriage. I love my husband and I want to keep my marriage fresh and strong..

The Final Weeks

2011-01-03T12:55:00.002-05:00

Last January, we took our youth on our annual True Love Waits weekend. During the weekend, God worked on my heart. I had always wanted children, but felt Ryan and I weren't ready. I felt that children may not even be a possibility because of medication that I was on during my teenage years. Some of those medications, a female doctor took me off of because she feared the same thing.

Even through the weekend, I felt God pushing maternal feelings and the desire for a baby. We returned home, and I told Ryan about what God had been laying on my heart. We prayed about it, but I still had doubts and wanted things on my timing...which was after I finished my Master's Degree and after our maternity insurance hit 100% in March of 2011.

I am so thankful for God and His timing. The day I got my schedule of classes for my Master's program (also the Saturday before Father's Day of 2010), I took the test and squealed! I was happy. God has given me a son, who in just a few weeks I will hold in my arms.

Ironically, (or not so) I am due the same month we are taking the youth to True Love Waits this year. February will never be the same and I have learned that when God speaks, listen and not to doubt.

When I would go a day without my medication in high school or middle school.... I would be sick for a month. God has given my body the strength to last these past 28 weeks (thats how long I have been without all of my prescription meds) with little problems. No hospitalizations or trips to the ER that always followed a missed dose in high school.

When God leads your heart, he also guides you along the path pushing aside the briars and thistles. God has gone before me holding up branches down this path and has taught me so much about learning how to follow Him and trust in Him.

Little King and the Countess

2010-11-11T13:07:00.002-05:00

Ryan's lesson last night was on the third commandment. Do not take the Lord's name in vain. Ryan went on to say that it is not just saying curse words or replying to a hammer hitting your thumb. It applies in any misuse of God's name. We take His name in vain when we do not stand up for it when others misuse it. We are God's hearalds. When we disobey God, God's name is marred because we, as Christians, are attached to His name.

The reason God's name is so important is that it has meaning. In the Bible times, a family thought long and hard when naming their child. Names had great meaning back then. Today, parents do not really think about the meanings behind the names. They pick what sounds cute. Back in Bible times, when God called out and set apart his people, he changed their name.

Some examples are Abram to Abraham. Sarai to Sarah. Jacob to Israel. Saul to Paul. These name changes meant something. Sarah means "princess". The name is fitting because through her many great nations came forth.

Ryan's name means "little king." It is ironic, yet fitting that he married a Contessa, Italian for countess. When thinking of a name for our son, we decided that we wanted his name to mean something. Christian Chadwick was chosen for a number of reasons. The first was the actual meaning behind the names. Christian means "follower of Christ." We both have one goal, to raise him through the knowledge and teaching of God. Chadwick originally meant "from the warrior's tow" or "protector and defender". We want to not only raise him up in God's Word, we want him to be a mighty warrior for God!

So you see, names have meaning. We should be mindful of that meaning. God's name is the name above all names. We should be defenders and protectors of such a mighty, holy name.

No Idols

2010-11-05T23:08:00.003-04:00

On Wednesday nights, Ryan has been speaking on Exodus 20 and the 10 Commandments. Many people wonder what application it can have on our lives today, having been given to the Israelites so many many years ago. Last week Ryan spoke on idols.

Exodus 20: 4-6 says, "“You shall not make for yourself an image in the form of anything in heaven above or on the earth beneath or in the waters below. You shall not bow down to them or worship them; for I, the LORD your God, am a jealous God, punishing the children for the sin of the parents to the third and fourth generation of those who hate me, but showing love to a thousand generations of those who love me and keep my commandments."

The first commandment we studied was who we worship, and the second commandment here talks about the method and how we worship. We don't need a little pocket Jesus to bring out and worship, we just need God and our relationship with Him. He requires a relationship based on faith, with no tangible thing to hold on to.

Our challenge for the week was this, to search our hearts and pray for God to reveal things that we placed above God and things we idolized. To me, God instead decided to reveal to me a new found vigor for stewardship. Maybe because money seemed to be important to me. I'm not sure. But I have become a saver, a deal seeker, and a coupon-clipping wife. I feel better knowing that I have spent the money God has blessed me with wisely. And I feel better knowing that the check I write back to give to God is a little fuller because of how wisely I have been with what He has given me.

Sometimes God's answer isn't exactly what we expected. This week's certainly was not what I expected as an answer when I started Ryan's challenge for the week.

There is a Time for Everything

2010-11-01T11:53:00.002-04:00

Ecclesiastes 3:1 "There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens"

God's timing is always better than our timing. That is a lesson that has been permeating through everything lately. We weren't planning on having a baby anytime soon. According to us, we couldn't afford a baby. I wanted to finish my Master's Degree first (graduation is Nov 2011). I wanted to save up a good nestegg first (we lost a lot of it back in Spring of 2008). We wanted to have five years together (we will have been married 4 in Dec 2010) before children. You see, the things that kept us from "being prepared" in our eyes were our own desires and wants. I wouldn't trade this baby boy for any of the above wants and desires. God truly knows our hearts and knows what is best for us.

For those of you who are waiting on Mr. Right. Focus on God and being happy and content with him. Thats what I did. In no way did I want to date in high school. I went on a date (prom, etc.) but it was just for fun and with guy friends. The probability that you will marry your high school sweetheart is slim to none. Don't get me wrong, there are people who do. But I went to college expecting to get my degree, then find a husband. I wasn't going for my MRS degree. What happened? God had the perfect man for me waiting on the corner of the street to help me move into my dorm. First he was my best friend. Now he is my husband and father of my baby boy. Keep God first. And remember His timing is always better than our own.

B90X - Reading but no Blog

2010-10-11T21:57:00.001-04:00

Ok. I have done my B90X reading. Just not really any time to blog. Will be out of town until Saturday, but will try to keep the blogging back up when I return. I am keeping a journal of my B90X reading, so I won't miss anything when I make my next blog.

B90X Report - Life of Joseph

2010-10-09T22:46:00.002-04:00

B90X Report - When you look at the life of Joseph, you can see a man whose life was touched and protected by God. God appeared to Joseph through his dreams. God protected Joseph when his brothers tried to kill him through a brother who cared for him, Reuben. Joseph was strong in his beliefs with Potiphar's wife. God protected him when he was put in prison. God worked through Joseph to interpret dreams.

Today's reading went further into Joseph's life. And I am going to kind of put two days together since tomorrow is Sunday.

God used Joseph to put him where he wanted him to be - as a ruler of Egypt, second to only Pharaoh. Through Joseph, the tribes of Israel were spared in their originators - Joseph's brother. God puts us in places that he wants us to be so that we may do His work. We may not understand why we are there, but God has a plan for our lives.

Just the other day Ryan and I were able to make the day of a lady at WalMart. We gave her a galloon of milk. It made her day!

Day 4 Reading : Genesis 40:12 - Genesis 50:26

Day 5 Reading: Exodus 1:1 - Exodus 15:18

B90X Report - Like Father, Like Son

2010-10-08T11:28:00.008-04:00

B90X Day 2 Report - Like Father, Like Son

My little man will be here in February. Ryan and I are very excited. On the ultra sounds I have had, he has been doing flips. I looked at Ryan and said, "He is going to be just like his father." And if he is, I am going to be so proud of him. If he is not, Iwill love him just the same.

I feel that is how God viewed Isaac and Abraham. Twice Abraham did not trust that God would protect him and his wife. Twice Abraham told kings that Sarah was his sister and not his wife. With Abraham, it was just a half-truth. Sarah and Abraham had the same father but different mothers. Both times, God interferred and did not let anything happen to Sarah. He protected Abraham and Sarah's marriage.

In Genesis 26, Isaac and Rebekah returned to King Abimelech. This is the same king that his father Abraham deceived in Genesis 20. Isaac tells the king that Rebekah is his sister and not his wife. This wasn't even a half-truth for Isaac and Rebekah. It was an outright lie. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. King Abimelech was no fool. He watched Isaac and Rebekah and saw Isaac treating Rebekah as a wife, not a sister.

How many times must God provide for them for them to get it? God provided a wife for Isaac. God protected Abraham and Sarah in foreign lands. Yet, they continued to lie and deceive to "keep safe." They feared they would be killed over the beauty of their wives.

Day 3 Reading: Gensis 28:20 - 40:11

B90X - Day 1 Report

2010-10-07T12:47:00.002-04:00

Day 1 of B90X was reading Genesis 1:1 - 16:16. It took about an hour and a half, with me taking some notes. God has opened my eyes to scripture that I never knew existed! I have read through Genesis many times; however, I never saw these words until now.

In Genesis 1:11, God said 'Let the land sproud with vegetation - every sort of seed-bearing plant, and trees that grow seed-bearing fruit. These seeds will then produce the kinds of plants and trees from which they came.' How many times have I read that? Taking is metaphorically, God made us to produce what we are. If we are bad, we produce bad fruit. If we are focused on Christ and his goodness, we will produce good fruits. We can't produce that which we are not.

In Genesis 8:21b God said "I will never again curse the ground because of the human race, even though everything they think or imagine is bent toward evil from childhood." I know that this theme is present throughout scripture. I just didn't know this was what God said when he gave the first rainbow.

When I think of famous battles in the Bible, I think of David and Goliath or Joshua and Jericho. I don't normally think of Abram (Abraham) and 318 of his men. Genesis 14 talks about a great king who destroyed many kingdoms and eventually defeated and looted Sodom, taking Lot and all of his treasures with them. When Abram heard of this, he gathered 318 of his men and took off after his nephew, Lot. Abram and his men not only destroyed this great army, taking back the possessions and people looted from the cities. He also made the remaining army flee for their lives! How great our God is that with 318 men, he defeated a great army.

Day 2 Readings: Genesis 17:1 - Genesis 28:19

The B90X Challenge

2010-10-07T00:17:00.002-04:00

I tried this (although six days after Elevation Church did) last year. I barely made it through and had to double up on two of the days.

I have printed out another copy and have decided to do it again. B90X is an intense Bible reading plan. You must commit to 90 days straight of a few hours of reading a day. I am committed. I am going to read through the Bible in 90 days and this time, I WILL NOT fail.

Day 1 Reading : Genesis 1:1 - Genesis 16:16

So here goes!

Free Stuff - Not always a Scam

2010-10-05T16:50:00.003-04:00

SWAGBUCKS

Ok. So I have been using Swagbucks for awhile now. You can see the widget for more information for Swagbucks on the right side of my page.

Well, I have always been skeptical when it came to offering "Free Stuff" on the internet. I have installed the Swagbucks toolbar, signedup for swagbucks, and use the search engine instead of google or a favorite to get to my favorite sites (i.e. facebook, myspace, ebay, amazon, etc.) I also try to take part in the daily polls and surveys. What has it gotten me thus far? Well, I have saved up enough swagbucks to get three Amazon giftcards, won a Swagstakes rug for the nursery, and gotten a neat little pair of earrings!

If you know how to work it without giving away too much personal information, this is DEFINITELY worth it!

COUPONS

Another subject is couponing. I have recently become a coupon junkie! With a baby on the way, money is getting tighter. I thoroughly enjoy running through the store and saving money! Especially if you can catch a double or triple coupon day at your local grocery store!

My favorite coupon site is www.southernsavers.com. It is a MUST for any mom! And if you don't have kids, well you can save money too! I bought Huggies wipes for $0.97 the other day. And no mother can ignore $6 packs of diapers!

I have recently kept a tally of CVS extra care bucks with coupons. If you play it right, you can actually get PAID to shop! For example, when there is a rebate on a Pepsi product and CVS offers extra care bucks when you buy so many. I got PAID for buying four packs of Pepsi the other day.

Satan's Methods of Deception

2010-08-23T13:57:00.002-04:00

I have been doing another Bible study on Eve. There is so much we can learn from the first woman; however, I want to focus on how Satan deceived Eve. I know he continues to try and use these methods to deceive me and keep me from doing God's work. Sometimes, he even uses Christians to do it. So don't ever put your guard down. Satan is good at what he does.

" 'You won't die!' the serpent replied to the woman. 'God knows that your eyes will be opened as soon as you eat it, and you will be like God, knowing both good and evil.' " - Genesis 3:4-5

This is a story everyone seems to know by heart. However, I do not think we really take time to look at the contrast between what God said and How Eve and Satan quoted God.

1. Doubting the truthfulness of God

The first method Satan uses is casting doubt on the truthfulness of what God said. He did this when he told Eve, "You won't die!"

In Genesis 2: 16-17 God said:

From any tree of the garden you may eat freely
but from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil
you shall not eat
for in that day you eat from it you shall surely die.

In Genesis 3: 2-3 Eve quoted God is Satan as:

From the fruit of the trees of the garden we may eat
but from the fruit of the tree which is in the middle of the garden
God has said, 'You shall not eat from it or touch it
least you die.'

Read each again. Do they say the same thing? No. They are similar but Eve adds to what God really said. She changes the perspective. Satan uses this to not only bring doubt to Eve's heart, but he also uses Eve's misquote to misquote God himself.

Remember, keep in God's word. If you can't quote God correctly, you won't be able to see past Satan's lies and misquotes of God's Word.

2. Doubting God's Motives

Satan says to Eve, "For God knows that in the day you eat from it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil." Satan tells Eve that God isn't looking out for the wellbeing. Satan suggests that God is holding Eve back from something good.

Unbelief

2010-08-22T00:50:00.003-04:00

"But despite all the miraculous signs he had done, most of the people did not believe in him." - John 12:37 NLT

This verse may come as a bit of a surprise to some of you who read this. I have struggled recently with unbelief. I believe in my God! I believe that Christ died for my sins, rose from the dead, and now (since 1992) has resided in me. I have a clear remembrance of the day I accepted Christ.

My unbelief comes in the form of not trusting God with every aspect of my life. Over the years, I have trusted God with a lot of things. But my baby, apparently, did not fall in that list until today. I have struggled since the third grade with asthma and allergies. They are chronic problems, not just the every day allergies. I used to get sick only during the spring and fall. Some teachers put me outside in elementary school. The problem was that outside the classroom was also outside the building. We had no indoor hallways. This going outside made it worse...and caused me to miss school.

When I got to middle school, my medical problems took a drastic change. It was like a night and day affect. I seemed to get sick all the time, not just during certain seasons. I had just recovered from a second battle of strep throat. My doctors didn't know what to do with me. They couldn't understand how medicines that used to work, suddenly stopped. This escaladed until eigth grade. In eigth grade I never went to school. I was put on homebound. A teacher picked up my assignments from school, came to my house for an hour a day, and I had tons of work to complete before she showed up the next day. During this time, even the hospital ER began to just drug me up and send me home. During this time I went in circles from pulmonologist, to allergist, to family doctor, to ENT and in a continuous circle. Every doctor tried what they thought would work, and when it didn't, sent me on to someone else.

I had one brilliant doctor who finally took out my tonsils my freshmen year of college. This drastically decreased the amount of time I spent sick. Two years later, I had a doctor tell me I might have cancer. They decided to take out a lymph node instead of biopsying it. When they went in, they took out two. PRAISE THE LORD! The biopsy came back negative for cancer; however, it was labeled as a chronic infection - same as my tonsils and adeniods two years prior to this.

It wasn't until after I graduated college that we discovered the method to the madness. The entire time I had PANDAS. Apparently, when I had one of the episodes of strep I developed an autoimmune disease. This disease caused an involuntary muscle spasm - or a tic - to be developed, which set off my acid reflux and asthma. The only time I could get peace was when I was asleep...because the involuntary spasm wasn't like the reflex of breathing....it did not occur when my brain was in sleep mode. Thankfully, I outgrew it or something. But the damage has been done to my lungs before that with my chronic asthma and allergies I continue to struggle with to this day.

So what does all this have to do with my baby and my unbelief? A LOT! I was on so many medicines, and many of them trial medications, that one doctor took me off of them saying that they could cause med to be infertile. So for the longest time there has been doubts in my mind whether I could even conceive. When I found out I was pregnant, that burden was lifted off my shoulders and I praised God with everything I am. But.... I found out non of my medications were safe for the pregnancy. That includes the nasal spray, preventative and emergency inhalers for asthma, my singulair, allegra, lortadine, and acid reflux medicines that were prescriptions had to go.... so now I am on very low dose over the counter wanna-bes. They don't do the job...but God is slowly helping my body heal and adjust. I have been so worried that either the stress that my asthma puts on my body, or the medications I took for a month before I found out I was pregnant, or the fact that I have a lengthy family medical history would make my baby an unhealthy baby.

I talked to the NP and midwife at my OBGYN on Thursday. They both told me that God doesn't make mistakes. That every baby was put on this earth for a purpose and a method to serve God. (we were talking about the downsyndrom and some other testing they want to do) That helped ease the way to what God told me tonight through various methods. First, was the music for DNOW. "God is healer" and "Healing is in [His] hands" were a major theme in the music. Then God used a wonderful lady to help answer so many prayers that I had today about various other things. God just reminded me tonight that he was in control of my baby and my future whether I wanted to let him have the reigns or not. I used to say My god is bigger and He CAN do it...now I have a new motto. My God is bigger and He WILL do it!

Nursery is Coming Together

2010-08-10T18:14:00.004-04:00

No, we are not setting up the nursery yet...we plan on doing that with the help of my parents and his for Thanksgiving this year. We have picked out a theme of Winnie the Pooh. My best friend and I loved Winnie the Pooh ever since we were kids! We had nicknames for the three of us. We had a Tiger, Robyn, Pooh, and Piglet in the group. So much of my childhood through teenage years had Winnie the Pooh in it.

We have a crib - pictured above - without this bedding. We painted it white (you can see in the picture with the Winnie the Pooh stuff). A sealy mattress! We also have a basinet. Not pictured because my mother is working on turning her wedding dress into a basinet skirt. She is also making pink and blue ribbons so that depending on what this one is...and what we have in future pregnancies.... we can use the same furniture.

Baby Wright

2010-07-31T13:17:00.002-04:00

I am just a little over ten weeks now. I have been good as to not gain any weight so far, but generally women lose weight at this point in the pregnancy because of morning sickness. Knock on wood, but I have not had morning sickness thus far.

Our life has become a little busy with youth, my grad school, and preparing for baby! I am currently not working and loving the time I can spend preparing for baby! Our nursery theme is already set. It is very non-gender specific. Which is great because I can use it for baby number 2 regardless of gender. Yes, we are already talking about baby number 2.

Who did Cain Marry?

2010-07-11T15:00:00.002-04:00

This is a question I know I will probably take with me to Heaven. I had always been told that Cain married a sister and their children married their sisters, brothers, and cousins; however, a few months ago someone told me about a theory that God created other people after Adam and Eve left the Garden of Eden. This satisfied me until I started a deep study of the women of the Bible. I came across Genesis 3:20 "Then the man - Adam - named his wife Eve, because she would be the mother of all who live." I would be interested to find any other theories on this. Because I cannot see myself believing now that God made other people besides Adam and Eve is Eve was mother of all who lived.

Shrimp Memories

2010-07-06T09:29:00.002-04:00

My grandpa Turner passed away a year and a half ago. Every day, I see reminders of him. We went out to eat at Cracker Barrell and I ordered fried shrimp. When the order arrived, my dad started smiling and then laughing like crazy. We all looked at him in astonishment. He said it reminded him of his dad.

One night after my dad graduated from high school, my grandpa took my dad out to eat just the two of them. They were farmboys and back then shrimp wasn't something so readily available this far up state as it is now. My dad ordered shrimp and halfway through eating it, my grandpa looked at my dad and chuckled, "Son, I don't think you are supposed to eat the whole thing." My dad had been eating the entire shrimp! Tail and All!

We're Expecting!

2010-06-19T09:25:00.002-04:00

We're expecting! That's right! The week before I am to start school again for my master's. We find out that I'm pregnant! I am so excited! We called everyone we knew yesterday! I am going to use this more now as an update for everyone on my pregnancy.God is amazing! On Mother's Day my mother-in-law almost did not make it. She was in ICU for three weeks. And spent another week in the hospital before she came home. She still cannot do much and tires out very easily. She told Ryan that what made her get through it and decide to quit smoking is that she was wanting to be there for her two current grandbabies and for the one Ryan and I was going to have. We laughed it off and said "Yea, someday". What we didn't know was that the very month she said that, I would get pregnant!My God is bigger!

Pretty Little Liars Review

2010-06-03T11:01:00.006-04:00

Pretty Little Liars does not sound like something you want your children to watch does it? Would you be even more surprised to know that it is also a very popular teen book series? I am shocked that ABC FAMILY would continue with the "family" audience, yet promote shows that are against core American family values such as Secret Life of the American Teenager and Pretty Little Liars. I will applaud ABC in one aspect, which they cleaned up the language of strong cursing to instances of “Holy Crap!” and “Screw a duck!” However, are these phrases we want our kids saying? They are, in essence, just a euphemism. The intention is still the same as the original word.

I downloaded the first book just to see what the hype was about with my preteen and teen girls I teach from school and church. Just the first chapter made me want to throw it down. I urge parents to read into what their children are watching and reading these days. So much of our society is about sex and drugs now. Do we really want our girls to read about a swimmer who is struggling with being a lesbian, a girl who is making out with her AP English teacher, a girl who "outdoes" her older sister by sleeping with her sister's boyfriend, or a bulimic girl who wants to get her boyfriend to go against his virginity pledge? If that is the kind of things you are ok with your daughter reading, then by all means, you are the parent. I will know what my child watches, what is out there on Monday and Tuesday nights during primetime on a quote "Family" television station. THIS is NOT a FAMILY show!

God-talk and God-acts

2010-03-31T09:19:00.004-04:00

My Bible history class watched The Passion of the Christ this week for Passion Week. I am so blessed that I can present the Gospel in the classroom. I read them a passage from The Message. I normally do not like The Message because it is not a verse by verse translation, but rather a paraphrase. I did, however, like the way it phrased James 2:17 "Isn't it obvious that God-talk without God-acts is outrageous."

I challenged my eighth graders this week to not only talk about what they saw in The Passion, but to also show that love they saw through their acts. James wrote in the same chapter that if we walk by a hungry friend and say "Be filled with the Holy Spirit" yet we do not provide for their physical hunger, what good have we done?

My challenge was simple. Tell others about Christ, yes. But do not just tell them about His love for us. Show them.

Don't Judge a Book by Its Movie

2010-03-19T11:20:00.006-04:00

I teach a group of seniors for Calculus just before lunch and let them eat in my classroom rather than going to the overcrowded lunch room. Yesterday, we started discussing a few books that have recently come out as movies. Have you ever noticed the minute details of a book and just wonder how in the world they are going to fit everything into a two hour film? The answer is simple - they don't. Understandably, some aspects of a book have to be cut for time reasons. Why then, have movies begun to alter endings of books we have come to cherish?

We discussed a few books, including Dear John, The Timetraveler's wife, and My Sister's Keeper. I will try to explain without giving away too much of the endings. In My Sister's Keeper, the book is so much better in the movie. They change too much of the ending and it alters the message of the storyline itself. In Dear John, I actually prefer the movie ending to the book. Although I enjoyed the insight into John's character and thoughts, I threw the book across the room after the final chapter. My small group that I assist in at church went to see the movie opening day. I accompinied them with full intension that I would also hate the movie. In this case, I was very happy with the ending.

My conclusion is this, don't judge a book by its movie or vice versa. You may find yourself surprised at the difference.

Not a Feel-Good Jesus

2010-03-17T11:12:00.004-04:00

I have been reading After I Believe: Experiencing Authentic Christian Living by Mark D. Roberts. It was a book I received in college, yet never read. In the first chapter, Roberts describes the four basic ideas about the Christian life. My favorite of these sections is "Idea #2: The Christian Life is Feeling Joy and Peace in the Lord."

Roberts talks about the "initial blush of emoition" a new Christian sometimes feels. Jesus promises us joy. 1 Thessalonians 5:16 says "Be happy and rejoice and be glad-hearted continually." The is an emotional side of Christianity, but Roberts warns that "we must beware of the tendancy to reduce Christianity to feelings alone."

When we reduce Christianity to emotions, we are left with a feel-good Jesus who makes us happy and rich. Many churches have fallen into the feel-good Jesus theology and forgotten about the Jesus who died and suffered for our sins.

2010-03-16T09:18:00.002-04:00

As God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.
— Colossians 3:12 (NIV)

The definition of compassion is "a deep awareness of and sympathy for another's suffering." How aware are we of the people around us? Do we notice when they are in pain? Do we notice when they need someone to talk to?

The definition of kindness is "the quality of being warmhearted and considerate and humane and sympathetic." Are you a kind person? When someone you do not particularly like comes around, are you kind to them? Do you treat them with consideration or do you just hope they leave as soon as they can.

The definition of gentleness is "politeness of the heart." The definition of patience is "good-natured tolerance of delay or incompetence." If you struggle with patience, be careful with asking God for more patience. The saying "Be careful what you wish for" applies here. Recently, I prayed for God to help me with my patience. His response has been to make me wait, to give me a week of subing my most challenging class for another teacher, and, most recently, giving me the nasty stomach bug that has come around.

What We Learn from Barabbas...

2010-03-10T09:32:00.002-05:00

What can we learn from this bandit? I know what you are thinking. He's a robber! He's a criminal! What you do not understand is that we have a lot in common with this rogue.

For those of you who do not recognize the name, Barabbas was the criminal who the crowd demanded to be set free. You see, it was a tradition during the Passover festival that Pilot release one prisoner. He gave them a choice to set Jesus free, but the crowd cried out that they wanted Barabbas. You see, if Barabbas had not been set free, he would have died on the cross. Pilot found that Jesus had done no wrong. Barabbas was a convicted felon.

I don’t know what happened to Barabbas. But I know something: the next time that I will read the crucifixion passages or see them played, I will know that I was like him, dead in trespasses and sins, destined for the cross, and exactly as him I was released and set free by the sacrifice of Jesus Christ who took not only Barabbas’ place in the cross but also ours.

On the Waiting Road

2010-03-09T11:14:00.004-05:00

Recently, Ryan and I have learned the hard way what it means to wait. Waiting on God is becoming easier and easier. I have to admit, I feel like a child. Wanting something so bad it is all I focus on. I can't eat, sleep, or do any other thing without thinking about what I want.

I am reminded of the commercial on TV for J. G. Wentworth. "It's my money and I need it now!" It seems that society today is teaching us that it is our right to get what we want and when we want it. That we are entitled to it. This is so directly against what God's Word teaches.

My new verse that I have stuck on my mirror in the bathroom is Psalm 27:14 "Wait for the Lord; Be strong, and let your heart take courage; Yes, wait for the Lord." How hard waiting seems to be for us, specifically my generation and younger.

Waiting... it is the most challenging command to follow. Love your enemies is nothing compared to the waiting.

Blessings from the Wrights as we are currently in a wait and see period in our lives...

Oh Where Can He Be?

2010-02-04T15:28:00.001-05:00

I have a directional handicap friend who left for Oklahoma over twenty days ago and haven't heard from him since...I wonder if I should call China to find him...

Tim Hawkins Concert!!!

2010-01-30T10:29:00.002-05:00

Ok, so most of you who know me well know I LOVE Tim Hawkins! He is my favorite comedian! I love his parodies and his jokes about the south! He's ten times better than Larry the Cable Guy, Ron White, or Jeff Dunham!

So for a very late Valentines Day gift, my hubby and I bought tickets to see him in Aiken, SC for May 22nd! I am sooo stoked!

For those who want a taste of Tim Hawkin's (family friendly and Christian clean) material. Go to www.timhawkins.net

What Would You Do For Your Treasure?

2010-01-21T08:59:00.006-05:00

For today's post, I feel like going back to my sermon notes in my Kindle from Ryan's lesson last night. God really used my husband's message to the youth to open my eyes last night.

The main passage he read from was Matthew 13:44-46:

“The Kingdom of Heaven is like a treasure that a man discovered hidden in a field. In his excitement, he hid it again and sold everything he owned to get enough money to buy the field. “Again, the Kingdom of Heaven is like a merchant on the lookout for choice pearls. When he discovered a pearl of great value, he sold everything he owned and bought it!

The first question Ryan asked was "What is the Kingdom of God?" On earth, it is the Body of Christ - the Church. We are God's Kingdom here on earth. When we are born again, we enter into this earthly Kingdom of God. In Eternity, the Kingdom of God is Heaven. Everything else will be destroyed. It is only those who enter into the Kingdom of God on Earth, that will join in with the Kingdom of God in Heaven. Jesus says “Your kingdom come, your will be done on earth as it is in heaven” (Matt 6:10). What he is saying is that may God's earthly kingdom (the church) reflect God's heavenly kingdom.

The second question Ryan asked the youth was "What are we willing to give up to get that?" Simple enough, he explained that none of us in the room have every truly been asked to give up everything like the two men in the parable. We cannot comprehend the choice of being asked to give up everything like they did. Ryan then pointed out Romans 12: 1 -2:

And so, dear brothers and sisters, I plead with you to give your bodies to God because of all he has done for you. Let them be a living and holy sacrifice—the kind he will find acceptable. This is truly the way to worship him. Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.

You see, we ARE called to give up everthing. We are called to become living sacrifices. To give up our lives. To die in our sin, and be raise as a new creation in Jesus Christ. It is not we who live these lives now. It is Christ who lives in us. Our lives are not our own. It now belongs to Christ. A living sacrifice is what we english teachers call an oxymoron. That is, the words "living" and "sacrifice" should be contradictory. They are, indeed, opposites. For in the Old Testament, when something was sacrificed, it was killed. Death was the outcome of a sacrifice. Whether it was an animal or a crop offering. The crops were cut from their lifeforce, the roots.

Ryan ended the same way I ended my last post. As Christians, we are just like the two men in the parable above. We have found a treasure of great value - Christ. We should not only give up everything to get this treasure, we should tell everyone we know about the treasure we have found! If you were to wake up tomorrow and find out you have become a millionaire overnight, you wouldn't keep it quiet! You would want to scream and shout about it! I know I would. We are called in the Great Commission to go and tell! Baptise and make disciples!

What will you do with YOUR treasure?

Finding God's Purpose In The Storms

2010-01-20T16:38:00.004-05:00

Praise You in This Storm
words by Mark Hall/music by Mark Hall and Bernie Herms

I was sure by now, that You would have reached down
and wiped our tears away,
stepped in and saved the day.
But once again, I say amen
and it's still raining
as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain,
"I'm with you"
and as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise
the God who gives and takes away.

Chorus:
And I'll praise you in this storm
and I will lift my hands
for You are who You are
no matter where I am
and every tear I've cried
You hold in your hand
You never left my side
and though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm

I remember when I stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry to You
and raised me up again
my strength is almost gone how can I carry on
if I can't find You
and as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
and as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise
the God who gives and takes away

Chorus

I lift my eyes unto the hills
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth
I lift my eyes unto the hills
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth

Chorus

This song has been a great ministry to me of late. Its hard when you find out someone close to you is gone. Its even harder facing it each and every day. Especially when you do not know if that person is a Christian. Ryan's best friend from high school committed suicide three years ago today. He basically lived with Ryan and his friend Chris. They were like brothers. He was Ryan's best man in our wedding. Just a few weeks after we were married, he was gone. Ryan knew something was bothering him at the wedding, but we guess he was too into making it "our" day to bother Ryan with his troubles. Today is a hard day for Ryan and for me as well...

Over the holidays, another one of my classmates passed away in a wreck. That makes four while we were in school and about five since we graduated in 2002. It is really hard. I shudder to think about why I did not stand up then for my faith as boldly as I do now. I never even asked some of them about God. I am not proud of it. Ryan knows he shared Christ with Chad. Chad even took one of Ryan's old Bibles and read through it. He asked Ryan some questions about what he had read. Atleast Ryan has that. I'm ashamed that I do not.

I hope and pray that each of you do not have those regrets. Be bold in your faith. Share God's wonderful story! Pray for those you have shared it with constantly!

A Year Ago

2009-11-15T23:17:00.002-05:00

Its been a while since I last posted. There's not much to say right now. I still love teaching. I still love being down here at Hagood. However, I miss my family. I miss my best friend Daniela. And I miss my old church family.

A year ago I lost my papa. I think that is the method of this madness right now. It is a hard time, especially since Veteran's Day was HIS holiday. He always had special events planned at various schools that day. Man, I do miss my Papa!

Life after the Flood...

2009-09-15T20:45:00.002-04:00

I am a teacher at JDA in South Carolina. I teach Pre-Calculus, Bible History, and 8th and 9th grade English. In my Bible History class, we have been studying Genesis from Creation to Joseph. One of my students brought up a question when we were talking about Adam's descendants and how long they lived.

Most of the people at the time lived to be between 800-900 years of age. The oldest, Methuselah, lived to be 969 years old. He might have been the oldest, yet he died before his father, Enoch, who walked with God and never died.

God became angry at the people for their immorality. He said in Genesis 6:3 that he would no longer let them live to be so old. They would have greater mortality and would live a normal life span no greater of 120 years of age.

That being said, one of my students likes to try and disprove the Bible. He tried to start a controversy about in the Guiness Book of World Records a person has lived to be 123 years old. First, the Bible says "NORMAL" life span. Second, the Guiness Book of World Records goes on to say that the average life span is 65 years of age and that only one person in 2.1 billion people will see the age of 115 years. If the oldest someone lives is 123 years on this earth since the Flood, then that is far enough away from 900 for me to completely believe there is no contradiction. The Bible also says 120 years and 123 is not that far off from that comparitively with the ages before the Flood.

Losing Souls for Christ...

2009-09-13T15:23:00.002-04:00

One thing that happened to my six-year-old neice recently is that some of her first-grader friends told her that God doesn't exist. That we lied to them about other fictional creatures around Christmas and Easter and that we are lying to them about God too.

We lied to them that as long as they are good... and we have done the same with what God says to do...I have started to rethink my theology on raising children. One day soon, I hope to be a mother myself. Will I tell them these fictional characters are real and just hope they can tell the difference between lying to them and telling them about the one true God? I don't know...

If my not telling my children things are real when they aren't will make them one step closer to believing in God, then I am willing to give up that "joy" of a few seconds on Christmas morning for the greater JOY of having my son or daughter in the Kingdom of God!

The Bible in 90 Days

2009-08-04T10:11:00.003-04:00

One of the guys that I went to college with (well he graduated three years before me) is a pastor at Elevation Church in Charlotte, NC. I found him on Twitter the other day and his blog for his church.

Well today I checked twitter for the first time in a few days and he posted this link: http://bit.ly/a8cAS
It is an intense bible read through where you read the entire bible in 90 days. I am a day behind, but I have decided to commit myself to this study. It will be difficult to find the time to read some of the lengthy sections, I know.

First, it will be a great opportunity to help me prepare for teaching Bible History this coming school year. Second, it will be a good spiritual journey of growth and learning about my God and his revelation for mankind.

Today's Reading is Genesis 1:1 - 16:16.

Are We There Yet?

2009-07-24T10:35:00.002-04:00

All of us have felt impatient about something or other during the course of life. For many of us it was that long cross-country road trip with the family. For others it was graduating from high school or college. Some of us are still in the midst of the wait.

How man of us, if we are honest, have had that attitude towards our walk with God? We get so frustrated at ourselves that our spiritual walk isn't where we want it to be.

You are not alone. Even Paul struggled with not being where he wanted to in his spiritual walk. In Romans 7:18-19 he says "And I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. I want to do what is right, but I can’t. I want to do what is good, but I don’t. I don’t want to do what is wrong, but I do it anyway. "

Look at your spiritual walk as a journey. A journey takes time. It is not like Star Trek where we can say "Beam me up Scotty" and be where we want to be when we want to be there. It is a journey and takes time.

Only Through His Presence

2009-07-22T10:29:00.002-04:00

I know it has been a good while since I have updated, and I apologize for that. I am now a teacher at Jefferson Davis Academy. I have stayed true to God, and He has given me the desires of my heart.

I have always wanted to teach; however, after college I had to get the first job I came to and, since I was already working in the medical field, I accepted a job with an eye doctor. Then, off to Resurgent working in bankruptcy. None of these jobs were my "dream job" but they were each a blessing. I met many great people I still keep in contact with today, and I got some experience opening up to people and working with software that required training.

God then moved my husband and I to this small little town in which we now live. I love the small town pace after living in Greenville, SC for so long. The worst traffic is right after a football or softball game! We moved back in October 2008. I applied to be a substitute teacher. I was accepted to the list, but never called in because the teachers did not know me that well. Then, a man at my church offered me a job with his company as an office manager. I worked there from Nov 2008 until March 2008. Then his wife retired and started working for him. I helped fill-in every now and then when they went on vacation or had an appointment. His wife went back to work the first of July. I was offered my teaching position the end of June!

God has been so wonderful to me and my husband. On paper, we should not have been able to pay our bills. We SHOULD be ten or fifteen thousand dollars in debt! But God has provided every minute! This wonderful church family filled our pantry with tons of items! We have yet to have to buy paper towels or laundry detergent because of these wonderful people we have come to see as our family! Back in February, we had our marriage retreat for the church. Ryan and I were going to be forced to eat in our room every night. And the gasoline money was going to be put on a credit card. But the Sunday before Ryan and I received a card from a church member with enough money for gasoline and one meal (not expensive meal but not the dollar menu either) out to eat.

God has provided for us every step of the way. Even when I would sometimes get frantic over how things were going to get paid, etc.

I am doing a 40 day Bible study and the lesson on day one was short but so intense. It was talking about how so many people use Phil. 4:13 "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me" as their life verse. The reason Susan Sealy claims is because "we understand from the very beginning that it is by God's strength, his very presence in our lives, that we accomplish anything."

I would not be where I am today or who I am today without God's very presence in my life. He is the only reason I am where I am today. His call on my husband and I to serve at this church far away from family and old friends we came to rely on so well. It was not until this move away from all that we knew and held familiar that we truly had to rely on only Him for our every need.

Creation has a Purpose

2009-05-01T10:15:00.002-04:00

Everything God created has a purpose. The trees and plants can create fruits we eat, turn carbon dioxide into oxygen, provide shelter from the cold rain and the hot sun. We all have our purposes. Even you and me.

I have been reading in Genesis a lot recently. Anyone who has seen my Bible know I write a lot in it. And Genesis, well it is hard to actually figure out where one note begins and the other ends right now. It just means I'll start a new book to study. Eventually, it means I have to go buy another Bible.

When I study a specific book, I do some googling of different stories and see what comes up. When I googled Eve, I got a lot of arguing from people over who was at fault for the first sin. I think when your mind goes there after reading the story of Eve, you have lost point of what God intended to bring about.

First, Genesis 1 shows that it took both Adam, the man, and Eve, the woman to reflect the image of God. Adam and Eve are so alike to be perfect compainions but yet so different as well. The nature of the woman and man both are needed for us to reflect God.

Second, Eve's story reflects our human nature of falling into sin, and the process of picking up the pieces afterwards through our faith in Him. By looking at the story of both Adam & Eve together, we can see an example of how we can still follow God after we fail. God forgives us and picks us back up even through the consequences of our sin.

How Long, O Lord

2009-04-29T14:00:00.001-04:00

"How Long, O Lord, must I call for help? But you do not listen! 'Violence!' I cry, but you do not come to save. Must I forever see this sin and misery all around me? Wherever I look, I see destruction and violence. I am surrounded by people who love to argue and fight. The law has become paralyzed and useless, and there is no justice given in the courts. The wicked far outnumber the righteous, and justice is perverted with bribes and trickery." - Habakkuk 1: 2-4

First, this is my favorite book of the Old Testament. Each time I read it, something new jumps out at me. These specific verses lay out my feelings right now. I've become so closed minded lately from praying about certain things so much I just don't see what is going on around me.

Violence! It is all around us. Turn on CNN if you doubt me. And not just physical violence in our War on Terrorism. The White House is in a political war. As Christians, we have given up our country to the hands of the wicked and spiritually lost. Those making big decisions now rely on bribes and what is good for them rather than praying and seeking God's guidance like our forefathers did.

I've been a little too concentrated on praying for some personal things that I have not even begun to pray for the state of our country and the leaders we, the people, have put in charge. And yes, even if we voted for someone else we did allow them to take charge of our country. And we allowed them to dictate when and where we can pray aloud. Not in a school or any other government owned property and now its even come down to restaurants in certain liberal states and cities (I need not name them) are asking people not to pray allowed for fear of "offending" someone. Personally, I think Christians should stand up and show them they are offending someone.... US!

A Jealous God

2009-04-22T16:19:00.004-04:00

“I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God.” Exodus 20:5

What are you trying to prove? Whose attention do you want to get? If it’s anybody’s but God’s, then look out. He’s a jealous God. Yes, jealous. That means you belong to Him, and it makes Him jealous when you act like you belong to someone else. You try so hard to impress people and worry about how you will be accepted. And God is jealous. “If only you spent that much time trying to impress Me,” he whispers. You’re too busy trying to impress someone else. Be it that you are trying to learn the right moves, have the right brand and style of clothing, etc. What can you do to impress God? What can you do to keep Him from getting jealous? Do you go places without Him? Use His name in vain? Forget you belong to Him? Don’t make God jealous.

My God has been a jealous God. Ever since my husband and I felt the call to Barnwell, SC I have been searching for that job replacement for the job that I had quit for the move. God provided for EVERY need we had in the move. I am a true believer that "where God guides, He provides".

First, God closed every door we tried to open to buy a house in Greenville and put down roots. He was not only telling us He had somewhere else He wanted us to do His will, He also was saving us the trouble of selling a house in this terrible seller's market.

Second, Ryan was a part-time minister and had a second secular job. He was layed off from that job and could only find a job at WalMart that would let him continue his ministerial duties on Sundays, summers, etc.

Third, God started making it clear that He was working on something BIG in our lives. Many ways, but mainly in our daily devotions, prayer, etc.

Next, in meeting with the students at DNow weekend and meeting with the search committee we felt a strong pull. We left the DNOW weekend reluctantly. We wanted to move right then!

God provided in even more ways as well. We were released from the contract with our gym because there's not one within 30 miles from the new residence. The church provided a place to live (we didn't have to house shop or find an apartment). The church helped with moving expenses, providing people the day we moved in to help move us in! We were welcomed with open arms (our first night in the parsonage the young married couples sunday school class went to see Fireproof! We had a blast!) Also the church had a pantry pounding! God has truly blessed us by providing for every need.

But the job never came. And as the months went by I started completely focusing on FINDING the job rather than thanking God for all He had provided. Now, trust me God is a jealous God! It wasn't until recently that I started really focusing on how God had blessed me that I received two job interviews. For the same job. In the same day!

Now, I'm not sure yet how those job interviews turned out, but I have no doubt in my mind that the reason I was not getting interviews was because God wanted me to get my focus right.

Sometimes God holds back on things that are really good for us because we aren't ready for them yet. Spiritually, emotionally, or physically. I know I wasn't ready spirityally for a job. Not working I had plenty of time I had no excuse for a misguided focus. With a job, there was no way I would have gotten my focus right. I had to do it BEFORE the blessings came my way.

Set Me Free

2008-10-12T23:13:00.002-04:00

This morning was amazing. God has really opened my eyes through the whole moving process. But that wasn't the amazing part of this morning. The lady who has been sitting in front of us at church accepted Christ today as her Savior! Then seeing this video tonight really made it all seem to fit together. What shackles Christ has set us free from.

Meet Me In The Stairwell

2008-09-11T13:06:00.003-04:00

'MEET ME IN THE STAIRWELL'

You say you will never forget where you were when
you heard the news On September 11, 2001.
Neither will I.

I was on the 110th floor in a smoke filled room
with a man who called his wife to say 'Good-Bye.' I
held his fingers steady as he dialed. I gave him the
peace to say, 'Honey, I am not going to make it, but it
is OK..I am ready to go.'

I was with his wife when he called as she fed
breakfast to their children. I held her up as she
tried to understand his words and as she realized
he wasn't coming home that night.

I was in the stairwell of the 23rd floor when a
woman cried out to Me for help. 'I have been
knocking on the door of your heart for 50 years!' I said.
'Of course I will show you the way home - only
believe in Me now.'

I was at the base of the building with the Priest
ministering to the injured and devastated souls.
I took him home to tend to his Flock in Heaven. He
heard my voice and answered.

I was on all four of those planes, in every seat,
with every prayer. I was with the crew as they
were overtaken. I was in the very hearts of the
believers there, comforting and assuring them that their
faith has saved them.

I was in Texas , Virginia , California , Michigan , Afghanistan .
I was standing next to you when you heard the terrible news.
Did you sense Me?

I want you to know that I saw every face. I knew
every name - though not all know Me. Some met Me
for the first time on the 86th floor.

Some sought Me with their last breath.
Some couldn't hear Me calling to them through the
smoke and flames; 'Come to Me... this way... take
my hand.' Some chose, for the final time, to ignore Me.
But, I was there.

I did not place you in the Tower that day. You
may not know why, but I do. However, if you were
there in that explosive moment in time, would you have
reached for Me?

Sept. 11, 2001, was not the end of the journey
for you. But someday your journey will end. And I
will be there for you as well. Seek Me now while I may
be found. Then, at any moment, you know you are
'ready to go.'

I will be in the stairwell of your final moments.

During the next 60 seconds, stop whatever you are
doing, and take this opportunity. (Literally it
is only 1 minute.) All you have to do is the
following:

Stop and think and appreciate God's power
in your life, for doing what you know is pleasing to
Him. If you are not ashamed to do this, follow the
instructions. Jesus said, 'If you are ashamed of Me, I will be
ashamed of you before My Father'

If you are not ashamed, copy and send this message...only
if you believe 'Yes, I love my God. He is my
fountain of Life and My Savior. He Keeps me going day and
night. Without Him, I am no one. But with Him, I can do
everything. Christ is my strength.'

Triumph Through Tragedy

2008-08-30T20:01:00.002-04:00

Nick Romano
Sept 7, 1984 - August 25, 2008

Right after I found out about Nick's wreck, a song came to my attention and it reminded me of the story behind the song. The song is the hymn "It is Well With My Soul". It has helped me find some peace in it all. He was a dear friend. Unfortunately, I watched some old video footage of the duet we did together and then our band competitions from 7th grade. So many memories caused tears to flood back in.

The verses were penned by Horatio Spafford after several traumatic events in his life. In 1871 his only son died, shortly followed by his financial ruin through the Great Chicago Fire. In 1873 he had planned to travel with his family to Europe, but was delayed on business. He sent his family on ahead. While crossing the Atlantic, the ship collided with another ship and sank, killing all four of the Spafford girls in the process. His wife Anna survived and sent him the now famous telegram, "Saved alone." Shortly afterwards, as Spafford traveled to meet his grieving wife, he was inspired to write these words as his ship passed near where his daughters had died.

If such tragedy can bring about the words below, may God use Nick to touch many lives and bring peace such as this.

IT IS WELL WITH MY SOUL

When peace, like a river, attendeth my way,
When sorrows like sea billows roll;
Whatever my lot, Thou has taught me to say,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.

It is well, with my soul,
It is well, with my soul,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.

Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come,
Let this blessed assurance control,
That Christ has regarded my helpless estate,
And hath shed His own blood for my soul.

It is well, with my soul,
It is well, with my soul,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.

My sin, oh, the bliss of this glorious thought!
My sin, not in part but the whole,
Is nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more,
Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul!

It is well, with my soul,
It is well, with my soul,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.

And Lord, haste the day when my faith shall be sight,
The clouds be rolled back as a scroll;
The trump shall resound, and the Lord shall descend,
Even so, it is well with my soul.

It is well, with my soul,
It is well, with my soul,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.

- Words by Horatio G. Spafford, 1873
- Music by Philip P. Bliss, 1876

A song for the brokenhearted

2008-08-25T15:46:00.005-04:00

"Cry Out to Jesus" by Third Day

To everyone who's lost someone they love
long before it was their time.
You feel like the days you had were not enough
when you said goodbye.

And to all of the people with burdens and pains
keepin' you back from your life.
You believe that there's nothing
and there is no one who can make it right.

There is hope for the helpless, rest for the weary,
and love for the broken hearts.
There is grace and forgiveness, mercy and healing
He'll meet you wherever you are.

Cry out to Jesus. Cry out to Jesus.

For the marriage that's struggling just to hang on
They lost all of their faith in love.
and they've done all they can to make it right again
still it's not enough.

For the ones who can't break the addictions and chains
you try to give up but you come back again.
Just remember that you're not alone
in your shame and your suffering.

There is hope for the helpless, rest for the weary,
and love for the broken hearts.
There is grace and forgiveness, mercy and healing
He'll meet you wherever you are.

Cry out to Jesus.

When you're lonely and it feels like the whole world is falling on you
you just reach out, you just cry out to Jesus

Cry to Jesus.

To the widow who suffers from being alone,
wipin' the tears from her eyes.
For the children around the world without a home,
say a prayer tonight.

There is hope for the helpless, rest for the weary,
and love for the broken hearts.
There is grace and forgiveness, mercy and healing
that meets you wherever you are.
There is hope for the helpless, rest for the weary,
and love for the broken hearts.
There is grace and forgiveness, mercy and healing
that meets you wherever you are.

Cry out to Jesus. Cry out to Jesus.

Cry out to Jesus. Cry out to Jesus.

Follow Love

2008-07-01T10:13:00.004-04:00

As a youth minister's wife, my main job is to be my husband's partner, his supporter, his friend. My job is to encourage him when times get tough; when God's will is being done, but the road gets rough. When I married Ryan this song became one of my favorite songs. And today, the lyrics express what is happening in my life right now. Those of you who know please do not mention yet. When the timing is right, Ryan and I will let everyone know. There are a few precious people that need to hear it from our mouths. And no, its not about an addition to our family.

FOLLOW LOVE by FFH

I'm gonna miss the simple town full of memories
I'm gonna miss just hanging out with all my friends
The rainy days and summer nights
Skipping stones by the river side
But i know.. its time to go

So heres goodbye heres so long
I must go and follow love
I feel my heart moving on
I must go and follow love
Carry on while I'm gone
This is what i've been dreaming of
I miss you so
But i must go, go and follow love

I've got a heart thats full of dreams
and a little bit of crazy
I can feel it pulling me to somewhere i have never been
I'm packing up and leaving home
To travel into the great unknown
Its time, i have to go

So heres goodbye heres so long
I must go and follow love
I feel my heart moving on
I must go and follow love
Carry on while I'm gone
This is what i've been dreaming of
I miss you so
But i must go, go and follow love

Were not guarranted tomorrow
So we must just keep on living for today
and make the most of every moment
every step along the way...oh

So heres goodbye heres so long
I must go and follow love
I feel my heart moving on
I must go and follow love
Carry on while I'm gone
This is what i've been dreaming of
I miss you so
But i must go, go and follow love

I must go, go and follow love

Growing Old in the Word

2008-06-21T18:34:00.002-04:00

Amazing how life can kind of creep up on you! I can tell I am getting older. My baby cousins are growing up and the first is going off to college in August. The youth in my husband's youth group are calling songs from my high school days as an "Oldie". And last but not least, I think I am losing my mind!

Enough of all of these rants. I know I go into them a lot. Today I want to share something that has been on my mind for years. There are people who want to "start their day off the holy way" and have devotions and read the Bible in the mornings. They say it makes their day brighter. Then there are those who want time with God to be the last thing they do before they go to bed.

Well, me. I can't do either. If its first thing in the morning, I am exhausted! Its overwhelming how much God reveals to you or can reveal to you during time with Him. Sometimes it so much it can physically exhaust you! That's happened to me recently.

If its the last thing I do before I go to bed I wind up awake until 3am just with things racing in my head that has been revealed to me or a song of praise will pop into my head and I will want to spend more and more time worshiping God and spending time in His word and won't be able to sleep.

My solution. Bit by bit all through the day. I'll read a verse before I take my shower in the morning. Then read a few chapters at lunch or during my breaks at work. My main Bible study has been around 8-9 at night or when Ryan has his meetings at church. This has caused me to become a 9:30 in the bed person! But it is better than staying up all night! So here I am....growing old! Before you know it I will come home from work and go straight to bed and then wake up at 4am!

God's protection

2008-06-15T22:42:00.000-04:00

When I was little, I used to think heat lightning was when God got angry. When the lightning hit the ground he was furious! Well, tonight driving hom from my father's day cookout at my grandfather's house I saw heat lightning and it matched my mood. I hope God became angry tonight. But I wish he was as furious as I have become in the last hours.

Why such hostility?! Tonight I had a 9 year old boy's life in my hands. And we were both in God's. I'm so thankful my family and I are alive tonight. Especially my cousin, my husband, and our friend Michael who were all outside to witness the events.

Both greenville and spartanburg county deputies were involved and all I will say is it involved a crazy man with a gun waving it around and half the time it was pointed in the direction of a member of my family. A sack of stolen guns. Stupid county line regulations and confusion about which deputy was supposed to deal with what. And a shots were fired. Then because the guns were found in one county and the man ran into the other they just said "Call us if you see him." when there is a missing gun somewhere between two houses of the events and now I'm afraid my little cousins or some kid in the neighborhood will run through the woods (what we call the "Swamp") and find it!

God blessed us all tonight by keeping us safe! I was in charge of my 9 year old cousin eating outside because the kitchen and dinning rooms were cramped with people. My husband and his friend Michael was outside too when the shots were fired. I had my cousin and I stay put. The guy didn't see us, but if we had moved out of the corner of his eyes that loaded gun would have probably went off in our direction. Having that responsibilty over someone so small and young really has changed me tonight.

Then we come home to two cop cars and an ambulance at the pool of our apartment complex. Apparently robberies at the pool and a break-in in an apartment below us occurred before we arrived.

"For He orders His angels to protect you whereever you go." -Psalm 91:11

I really believe God had his angels protecting my family tonight. None of these events were just coincidences. He has a perfect plan. He changed my life tonight. I've been taking too much for granted. I've been a very sheltered kid until now. My husband, who has had a gun pulled to his head before, is helping me through this. God has blessed me with such a protective man! His first instinct was to protect his family and the second was calling 911 once we were safe!

And a special thanks to Aaron for teaching my hubby well! TO RUN! lol.

Blessings and Fathers

2008-06-13T12:44:00.004-04:00

Growing up, my grandpa always made me laugh. He's always been the family clown while still maintaining that strength that made you want to run into his arms for safety. Every time I used to say "what" he would always reply with "in the world's come over you." Now, most of you probably that has no meaning. But now adays every time I hear someone ask "What?" I always think of my grandpa.

With Father's Day coming up. I decided to write a little about our Heavenly Father. And how God is like that with us. He blesses us. He teaches us. He is there fore us. He gives us little things that remind us of his goodness. Whenever I am feeling discouraged, something happens and I am reminded of his goodness. I just want to share a song that has meant a lot to me as of late.

"Before It Was Said" - FFH

Every day I sit and pray to God above
To watch over me and my family
But every day I seem to pray the same old thing
In the same old way, and I start to think

That maybe I should change
And find something better to say
But I've learned to believe
You always hear me when I pray

So I get down on my knees
'Cause I'm stronger than these
Voices inside of my head
They try to deceive me
And make me believe
That I would be better instead
To take my requests and put them to rest
But You're already one step ahead
You knew just what I would say
Before it was said

Every night I lie awake wondering
If You're listening to every heartbeat
You've told me that You know the deepest part of me
And You'll watch over me and my family

So I guess I shouldn't change
'Cause You hear every word that I say
And I knew You are here
When I come to You this way

So I guess I shouldn't change
'Cause You hear every word that I say
And I knew You were here
When I knelt down today

Til Death Do Us Part...

2008-06-12T15:12:00.002-04:00

God spared my life last night. Ryan and I were traveling to my parent's house and out of no where this van beside us started switching lanes with no turn signal. She had pulled up beside us talking on her cell, decided to move the the left hand lane and didn't pay attention that there was a passenger window right next to her when she did.

We were in the left lane. The only choices were swerve into oncoming traffic, have her hit and spin us into oncoming traffic, or Ryan's choice slamming on the brakes and the horn!

Honestly, he said if I hadn't been in the car he wouldn't have taken that chance. But she was about to smash into my side of the car. OK, so I've been in one wreck thats basically scarred me for life about other drivers. A lady was yelling at her kids in the back seat one Halloween night and ran a stop sign. She hit me in the passenger side of my old 2 door Ranger, spun me around and hit me in the drivers side. Then, park wasn't park anymore so when the car stopped and I put the gear to park it hit a house! Thankfully it was just a roll. The man whose house I hit ran out and had to pry the door open to get me out. I thought the car was on fire because of the air bags. Needless to say I had plenty of chemical burns from those airbags and a lot of bruises the next day!

The Infinite God. But Infinity on Earth?

2008-06-04T12:34:00.006-04:00

I will return to my senior seminar class for a few minutes today. I have been reading through one of the books about Infinity. Our class attempted to write a paper and publish it stating that Cantor, Zeno, and others were wrong about infinity. The runner's paradox, for one, where if a runner starts out at point 0 and tries to get to point 1 and only travels half the distance between the two points each time, he will never reach his destination. In other words he travels halfway the first time and reaches 1/2. He travels half of the remaining distance the next time and gets to 1/2 + 1/4. The next 1/2 + 1/4 + 1/8, etc. But in reality there comes a point where the fraction is so close it doesn't matter. They were leaning towards the beginning of the calculus concept of limits; however, Calculus just had not been discovered yet.

Now I will take this to another level. God is infinite. He has no beginning and no end. Mathematics was created by man to symbolize and give some standard to reality. Does infinity have any real concept in our world? Like the runner, who will indeed reach the point of destination in reality. Or is our view on infinity in mathematic and logical senses just a way of referencing how big God and his creation is? Can I minds just not comprehend it or are we taking some concept of how God has no beginning or end and trying to put Heavenly aspects and concepts into worldly and earthly theories that just cannot co-exist?

Ok. So thats my ramble for today. I know it probably goes over some of your heads. But it should. I believe there are many things God has hidden from us because it is just too big and too great for us to comprehend. Possibly why every mathematician who has ever spent their life working on solving infinity has ended up in a mental institution!

My Song

2008-06-03T22:31:00.005-04:00

Let this be my heart's song for today

"I am not skilled to understand What God has willed, what God has planned I only know at His right hand Stands one who is my Savior I take Him at His word and deed Christ died to save me; this I read And in my heart I find a need Of Him to be my savior" - "My Savior, My God" by Aaron Shust

Disobedience

2008-06-02T21:59:00.000-04:00

I recently found StevenFurtick.com, a blog from a guy who is 110% working for God's glory. I clicked through some links and found myself at the podcasts for Elevation Church in Charlotte, NC. So today at work I listened through some 3 or 4 different services. Almost every one of them God did something to my heart while sitting at work processing PLX and RCX Files; however, one specific sermon caught my attention. It was a sermon by guest speaker Clayton King. Clayton King has always seemed to amaze me with his testimony. I love hearing him preach because of how uncomfortable I feel and how convicted I seem to become. God used him today to chip away at me.

One specific quote though has stuck with me.

“Why do we always have to pray about doing stuff the scripture already tells us to do. Why don’t we just plan to obey and if God doesn’t want us to go, God is more than sovereign enough to close the door before we get there. You ever think about that theology. Why are we wasting time praying about stuff. If you have to pray about something you know God has already called you to do, then your prayer is actually an act of disobedience.” – Clayton King

I mean, imagine how many times God has wanted to give us something and do something great through us and we spend so much time praying about it that God doesn't bless us through allowing us to be used. With me, I've said I was taking a leap of faith recently when all I was doing was sitting and praying about it and making plans rather than just stepping out and doing what I felt God calling me to do. I sent this quote to Ryan today and He felt compelled to quit his paying jobs and go straight into a ministry without promise of a paycheck, etc. We feel the call for him to go into full-time ministry, but the opportunities have yet to come full circle.

Lord, My God, forgive me for the worry when you are in control of it all! Forgive me for not doing when I spent my time planning and strategizing. Sometimes my administrative spiritual gift gets in the way of me going where God has called.

Habbakkuk

2008-05-03T23:00:00.000-04:00

Have you ever finished watching the evening news with all the violence and injustice in the world and in frustration asked, why isn’t God doing something? Why do the wicked and the dishonest people prosper? Why are they elected to the White House? Well, that is not a new feeling. A prophet named Habakkuk felt that way around 620 B.C. and wrote a book about it.

Habakkuk’s name means to “embrace” or “wrestle”

If God is good, then why is there evil in the world? And if there has to be evil, then why do the evil prosper? What is God doing in the world?

While Habakkuk begins by wondering or worrying about the world around him and God’s seeming indifference, he ends by worshiping God.

Habakkuk progresses from questioning God to trusting God.

In His Word...the beginnings

2008-05-03T00:37:00.000-04:00

At the Sunday school picnic, Miss Smith stacked a pile of apples on one end of a table with a sign saying, "Take only one apple, please - God is watching." On the other end of the table was a pile of cookies on which a second grader had placed a sign saying, "Take all the cookies you want - God is watching the apples."
_______________________________________________________
“I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God.” Exodus 20:5
What are you trying to prove? Whose attention do you want to get? If it’s anybody’s but God’s, then look out. He’s a jealous God. Yes, jealous. That means you belong to Him, and it makes Him jealous when you act like you belong to someone else. You try so hard to impress people and worry about how you will be accepted. And God is jealous. “If only you spent that much time trying to impress Me,” he whispers. You’re too busy trying to impress someone else. Be it that you are trying to learn the right moves, have the right brand and style of clothing, etc. What can you do to impress God? What can you do to keep Him from getting jealous? Do you go places without Him? Use His name in vain? Forget you belong to Him? Don’t make God jealous.